The BEAUTY in opposites

We received notice this week that a ONE MONTH old in our church has cancer. Those are the days I shake my head and wonder WHY???? I pray for the family that HAS TO be experiencing shock and devastation. As we set up teams to visit I pray for a miracle but I am also reminded of something I wrote awhile ago. Thought I would share...

The colors of purple, red, and yellow engulf you. Playful children’s artwork covers the walls. Silver balloons and toys are a regular sight you see. The sounds of children’s voices fill the air. There are waterfalls, trains, and even an indoor playground to entertain each child who wanders in. Where am I?

You might guess an amusement park or a child’s birthday party.

But, let me share with you the other sights and sounds going on around me.

Pacing parents in the hallway, the subtle weeping of a mother as she listens to the doctor give her “the news”, a heartbreaking cry of pain from a child’s lungs, child after child sitting in room after room with various tubes coming from their arms and chest, the sad eyes of parents and children meet your own and you know they are wondering “what is about to happen next?”

Where am I?

Where do these two worlds of sadness and joy meet?
Phoenix Children’s Hospital.

I wait with one of our families to hear the news that will either bring a smile to our face or tears to our eyes.

As I focus in on what is happening all around me I realize how much the world we live in today is like this moment of time I am experiencing.  

We live in a world filled with opposites.

death and birth.

divorce and marriage.

illness and cure.

bankruptcy and millionaires.

war and peace.

I ask the mom I am waiting with how she does it? How does she cope?

What she tells me isn’t unique or something she made up. She tells me that what gets her through each day is “TRUST!”

Trust! Trusting that God is in-charge and knows exactly what is going on. Trusting that, even through we don’t understand, God is bigger and more creative than we could ever be. Trusting that this place we call earth is just our small playground for the excitement that is to come in the big amusement park called heaven. Trust is the key!

Solomon shared some simple yet wise words of wisdom with us in Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5 that can provide us with the power of God at all times.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

This would be a great verse to memorize. For some fun memorization tricks of the trade check out this post from Ginger Ciminello.  

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Bow heads are people too!

The quest to Mess Madness continues. 
I can put a check mark by the closets!

Two weeks ago I posted this picture of my hall closet on facebook. I was surprised by the response. People empathizing and relating. But there were also "slap me in my face" comments from people SHOCKED and THANKFUL to know I had such a messy closet. 
It reminded me that peoples perception of me is not the reality of me. I have spent much of life in this boat. To the point that I wrote my 12th grade oratory on the subject. It was called "Bow Heads Are People Too". Here I am 20 years later still chasing down the topic.
So I thought I would provide some Carey perception busters for you!
1. I am tough to REALLY get to know.
I could tell you I am shy, an introvert or really busy. All true reasons that I am tough to know. But the fact is simply that it takes years of friendship and trust building with me to learn all the details of who I am. I once told a therapist that "my dating life stinks because guys tell me they are intimidated by me." I was hoping she would tell me I am not intimidating and instead she looked at me and said "okay, let's talk about what you do to be intimidating." I know I can still this way - I hear it from work colleagues. I don't mean to be. I am still a work in progress.
2. I wouldn't be the person I am today without therapy. 
Yes, I have spent a combined 10 years in therapy on and off depending on life's circumstances. I believe in it and recommend GREAT therapists for anyone who simply feels a bit lost in what do with emotions of feelings. Yes, it is hard to ask for help but for me it was worth the risk.
3. I don't keep junk in my trunk. 
If you knew all the traumas and dramas I have been through your mouth might drop. I don't come across as someone who has been through a lot of junk because I wake up each day and choose to see them as lessons learned and choose to see what God has taught me through the situations and circumstances. Oh yeah and therapy helped! :)
4. My screw ups saved me!
I tell people I have known Jesus since birth and have always been proud to call Him my best friend. But, I can say I never truly got Grace till I was 28 and allowed myself to screw up so royally that I had to get the power of His unconditional love for myself. I get it and I have a grip so tight on His love for me! I am thankful for His saving Grace each day!
5. JOY is the best medicine. 
People tell me I make it ALL (work, parties, kids, mothering, etc) look sooooooooooo easy! Well I am here to tell you it is not. None of it is easy but it is FUN! The things I do I do because I LOVE them and have a passion for them. I get up early and I stay up late.  If only I could add exercise to my passion list I would be golden. But there are plenty of days that I want to cry or I do cry because I get home from work at 6pm, the house is a train wreck and there is no dinner plan. I get grumpy because I feel like a failure as a wife and a mother. I beat myself up and wish I had planned better, wish I could stay at home or do more in the hours I have. But laughter and joy from my kids and husband snap me out of it and I start over again. 
Do I have messy closets? You bet! THAT is reality. 

"I'm baptizing you here in the river, turning your old life in for a kingdom life. The real action comes next: The main character in this drama—compared to him I'm a mere stagehand—will ignite the kingdom life within you, a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. He's going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. He'll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he'll put out with the trash to be burned." Matthew 3:11

QUESTION: Do you think peoples perception of you is reality? 

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dream BIG: week seven

Time to tackle my favorite subject (not!) in our dream BIG series. FACING YOUR FEARS!
I continue to dive in and out of Kelly Rae Roberts book Taking Flight and am loving each minute. 

Let's jump right in. 
True or False?
Pg 29 "Fears, with their persuading voices, try to sabotage our creative dreams"
TRUE! but

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

The amount of scripture to help us battle our fears is like the ability to have armor from head to toe. Dive in and find your favorite to claim as your own when those fears wiggle in. Biblegateway.com is a great online resource. 

"Our fears are the perfect counterpart to our whispers. Our whispers say, "Go for it. You are enough." But our fears fight back with , "You're not strong enough" or "You'll never be as talented as so and so." 

WOW! Does this quote from Kelly meet me where I am at. Every day I battle this conversation in my head about Cravings. I am thankful for the way God uses others to encourage me exactly when I can't stand it any more and I am thankful for the way He is PUSHING me to tackle the voices that want to beat me up and knock me down. FEARS!!! You will NOT win! Do you hear me? 

con't p 29 "Sometimes, we just need to sit with them (our fears) for a while, face their direction, take notice, then take action" 

I told a friend, who happens to be in the midst of dreaming BIG herself, that I feel like a fourth grader who is looking over the fence at the 5th grade girls playing four square and I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO want to play but I am not invited.
As I begin the process of developing  a marketing plan for Cravings I am discovering this amazing network of woman in the same "business". I want to know them, be friends with them, learn from them. But how in the world do I make that happen? Will they want to play with me? Am I capable of hanging in their league? All I hear are the FEARS talking back to me. I could slink away always wondering. Or I could stare them down and take action!  I realize I will never know unless I try. So my ACTION item is to send each of them a "nice to meet you" email. Or maybe it is like Texas sorority rush and I can bribe them with big tins of popcorn? What? Not gonna work? The point is what will it hurt? Maybe nothing will come of the gesture but maybe a door will open and I will here the words "Welcome, come on in and play!"

"I would rather risk all for God and come up short than never make an attempt at all. " Wayne Cordeiro

Question: What fear are you sitting with right now?

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Hitting the re-set button.

My journey to project clean-up or Mess Madness (as I like to call it) started a few weeks ago. So far so good! But something unexpected is happening in the process.

"Jerusalem, stand up! Shine! Your new day is dawning. The glory of the LORD shines brightly on you." Isaiah 60:1

My first project was cleaning up from Avery's party. You can't even imagine the amount of STUFF that had piled up from all the crafts.

You see this box? I bought it over ten years ago. It has been my devotional box that sits next to my special over stuffed devotional chair. The box and the chair have been "my spot" for Bible reading, journaling, script writing and more for years. The three of us are incredible friends. But what I discovered in the "put things away" process is that this box was over flowing with party goodies. As I unpacked it I only found one item from my devotional box remaining inside. Bubbles...a devotional box staple in my life.

I sat there staring at the bubbles and the box that had once held all my treasures and was saddened. How had I let this happen? How had ribbons, scissors, punches, tape and more made their home in my special spot? The answer is simple.
I let them.
I let things take over my God space! Hoping I am not alone in this?
All I can say is "whoops" and start NEW! Beating my self up will serve no purpose!
Next came the fun! I re-set the box. Sketch pads, colored pencils, journal, Bible, 2 books I am reading, a cross from a friend, note cards, and my new favorite addition is a photo album I quickly made. It has pictures of families and friends with a page that I can write in my prayers and prayer requests for each of them. I am loving it and it keeps me focused during prayer time. And last but certainly not least BUBBLES (yes, I do blow them in the house if I want :)!
So I have come to realize/recognize that cleaning up my stuff is doing so much more for me than I ever planned! God is super ridiculous cool! It's a new day.
Question:
I am curious if you have a special spot for your quiet time? Do you have a routine to your time or it is new each day?

P.S. - Found this really cool resource for helping you simplify if you are looking for some help in this area.

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Going offline

for a good cause.
I seriously heart my new found blogging world. Looking at blogs, joining linky parties, developing my own blog posts but I am going to go offline for a bit. Two weeks, maybe more...hopefully less. Honestly, I am already feeling withdrawals coming.  
It is time to focus the spare hours I have a day (8:30-11:00 p.m.) on my Cravings: Desiring God in the Midst of Motherhood project. 
The publishers proposal has been checked, double checked and finally triple checked (thank you,editors!) which means it is time to begin the process of finding a publishing house to pick-up this God given vision. In my dreams it will be like magic! But, I know the reality is that this process will be tough and come with some hits along the way. 
The goal is to have it to as many sources as possible before my 37th birthday on October 1st. 
Sooooo here I go! I will be thankful for any prayer requests you lift up. 
I will include some details below.


Project Summary:

Cravings: Desiring God in the Midst of Motherhood is a series of 5x7 devotional flashcards based on the book of Psalms. The devotionals will provide a scripture reference along with a “thoughtlet” that will encourage mothers of young children to challenge themselves and grow in their relationship with God.

Prior to becoming a mother, I had quality daily devotional time: Bible reading, journaling and regular prayer time. I could have never imagined a life without this constant time present. But, in an instant, everything shifted. When my son was born, I simply could not figure out how to fit my devotional time into my day. When he slept I either slept or tackled the long “mom” list of things that had to get done. I allowed other things besides my time with God to be the priority. But I was having cravings.  Just like the cravings that come with pregnancy, I was craving my God time.

I view my entire life as an act of worship. I can worship God in each action of my day: cleaning, feeding, cooking and even in changing diapers. I began to accept this shift in my devotional time was a new season of my journey with God. Still, I longed to figure out a new, purposeful way for God and I to have intimate times together.

God kept whispering to me “make it easy, make it easy, Carey”. God’s prompting led to the development of 5x7 devotional cards. I place these cards in locations I frequent the most in my day like the car, microwave, changing station, bathroom sink and more. These cards provide a nugget of scripture and a “thoughtlet” that challenges me and helps me grow in my relationship with God. Each card presents a brief opportunity to assuage my craving.

I want to share this technique. Prepared cards can provide women with a convenient means of fulfilling the craving they have for God in the midst of their busy day.

Rather than being a traditional book, this product is a set of 40 black and white devotional flashcards (see example card). One side contains the scripture and “thoughtlet”; the other side is a high contrast black and white image that could be used to visually stimulate a baby while mothers read the devotional. The cards will be packaged in a box, envelope or plastic pouch depending on the most economical approach. 

The Art Work & Samples:

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